Terror Alert Level Raised!!!!
Why? Were heinous plots uncovered? Have new turrist cells been identified? Nah, we just like fucking with ya.
Chertoff said there are not enough indications of an imminent plot to raise the current threat levels nationwide. And he indicated that his remarks were based on “a gut feeling” formed by past seasonal patterns of terrorist attacks, recent al-Qaeda statements, and intelligence he did not disclose.
I certainly feel safer now. A “gut feeling”? Dude, just take a big dump, it’ll pass.